And then your phone dies.
Escape 101: bathroom.
sexuality is confusing.
Being awkward in a crowd 101: socialize with the dog.
Goes out. Wants to go home.
- me in other people's showers:what the fuck is going on
The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.
At first I was all:
Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.
But then I was all like:
GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!
…and then I start being embarrassed about something I said a week ago.
Things I will teach myself since I’m not in college anymore:
How to not forget my lunch when leaving for work
what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do
dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off
“People with vaginas”
what are those called again
I can’t remember
this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for